Unveiling of She

There’s a moment when every woman discovers her power. For me, that moment wasn’t in front of a camera – it was behind it. But my journey to this place, to creating ‘The Unveiling of She, Savannah,’ began long before I ever picked up a camera. It started in the shadows of a challenging childhood. This is the experience that taught me that our darkest moments can lead to our brightest purpose.

My Childhood Unveiled

First of all, let me start by telling you that my childhood was deeply troubled. I grew up with an alcoholic mother who taught me to fear and that it was safer to be invisible. Often, I would cross my fingers at my side and wish she wouldn’t talk to me when she came into the room. I learned to fade into backgrounds, silence my voice, and make myself small. Later in life, these coping skills would help me to understand why so many women struggle to see their perfect light.

To cope with the abuse I was suffering, I turned inward in search of peace. There were times when I daydreamed so I could forget my reality. Reading National Geographic for punishment, was a welcome escape to another place for me. Today, traveling to these places fills me with a sense of familiarity and joy. I often wrote poetry, albeit some of it dark, it helped me to express some of the negative feelings that were consuming me. I suffered from suicidal ideation and would go on to make attempts a couple times in my life. I am so thankful that I survived. Even in those difficult days, a spark of resilience was glowing within, awaiting its unveiling.

Positive Influences

Luckily, there were bright spots in my life. I’m grateful to have had my siblings to hang around with. They are the only people who can testify to what I have overcome. The relationships I have with both of them mean a lot to me today. My dad is a quiet and gentle man which gave me a balance from the noise and chaos. He always tried to do the best he could as a family man, but the family dynamic was hard for him as well.

Becoming a Teen Mom

Later, that spark was tested again when I became a teen mother. Society has a way of writing off teenage mothers. Certainly, I felt like a failure. Life became even more difficult as I had an additional mouth to feed. Overall, motherhood taught me something crucial. In short, we are all stronger than we believe. Through each midnight feeding, each difficult decision, and each small victory, I built a foundation of strength. Ultimately, I wouldn’t recognize that strength for years to come. All I could see was the struggle and I felt it profoundly. The precious baby girl, who made me a mom, couldn’t know that her mom wasn’t okay. Through every struggle, her smile kept that spark lit. I would have a lot of learning and growing to do. Therefore, I was not ready for the unveiling of she.

Relationship Issues

Fast forward and for many years, I accepted being in abusive relationships. I didn’t know how to get out of that cycle. Besides, I feared that I couldn’t survive financially on my own. Similarly, as unsafe as my lifestyle was, it was something I was familiar with. Being in chaos was normal to me. As it goes, I had a second child, and felt obligated to stay for him. Hence, I accepted the abuse for years, until the abuse was beginning to be directed towards my child. Looking back, I find it sad that I didn’t care enough about myself to leave for me. Nevertheless, my spark glowed enough to shine a light brighter so I could see my way out. But I still was not ready for the unveiling of she.

Unveiling of She – Off to College

With this brighter light, came clarity. As a single mom, of almost thirty, I decided to attend college. I studied and worked a lot for two years straight. During this time, my confidence began to build. My life situation also started to improve. I will never forget the generosity of my dad at this stage of my journey. Most people are not aware that he paid for my daycare expenses completely during this time. This gave me the financial cushion needed to pay for fuel and food. At the same time, it gave me peace of mind, knowing that my kids were taken care of while I was away for classes.

After two years of college, I was able to get a job in the IT industry. The technology world became my way out of poverty. Each opportunity was a new chance to prove that circumstances don’t define destiny. As I climbed from entry-level positions to aspiring leadership, I began to feel even more positive about my life. Secondly, I felt more capable to life with kids on my own. Still, I was not ready for the unveiling of she.

Unveiling of She – Abuse and Trauma

To start, abusive situations are not linear. As a rule, in these situations, there is a period where the abuser is apologetic and kind. This often happens in between the cycles of abuse. Often, there are a few great memories of the abuser that you can’t reconcile with their bad behavior. Due to this, a victim will stay because they believe that version of their abuser exists. So, it can be a lot like a roller coaster. The problem is, you never know what to expect. Frighteningly, this roller coaster has a varied path every time and you never know when the wheels are coming off. So, imagine trying to come up with a solution to a problem that presents itself as a chameleon. It’s impossible.

Similarly, healing is not linear. Nor, is it the word that completely defines the journey. Remember that invisible child I spoke of earlier? Remember that fearful child? She still exists within my adult body and mind. I need her. And she needs me. I often look in the mirror and tell her that she didn’t deserve what she received. She deserved to be a child who could fall and get back up and learn from her mistakes. She deserved a childhood free of fear and pressure to be perfect. At the same time, she often reminds me that I have unparalleled strength that can get me through anything. She also reminds me that I am forgiving and compassionate because I’ve known intense pain. And, those parts of her, I don’t ever want to let go of. But, I was still not ready for the unveiling of she.

Links to Trauma Education

If you are in a close relationship with someone who has suffered through abuse and trauma, it is important to understand what the outcome can be. Click the links below for more understanding.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/think-act-be/201609/21-common-reactions-trauma

https://www.verywellhealth.com/ptsd-from-emotional-abuse-5210626

A Perfect Storm

Although a lot of positive steps were taken to improve my life, I could not have known what lie ahead. Particularly, I felt that my childhood trauma response just disappeared at some point. I couldn’t have been more wrong. A few years into my IT career, I found myself in a marriage that would lead to one of my biggest regrets in life. At this time in my journey, I was continuing to grow as a person and realizing what I wanted out of life. More importantly, I was also aware of what I didn’t want. Ultimately, I decided that it wasn’t the marriage I was in. My children were being affected negatively and there were infidelities in the marriage that were ongoing. Due to these circumstances, I filed for a divorce. I had a son a couple years prior with this man.

A perfect storm ensues. At the time of my divorce, my daughter goes in search of her birth father. Between that and my divorce, my trauma response was awakened. To be honest, I didn’t recognize what happened next as a trauma response until many years later. If there were ever triggers that have been impossible for me to shake, they are criticism and failure. Growing up in an abusive home, I learned that even perfection wasn’t good enough. And when I fail at something or receive criticism, my trauma response is ignited to this day. I immediately feel like I’m not good enough. When all this was happening in my life, all at once, I broke down.

Significant Derailment

My suicidal ideation returned and that fed into my feelings of not being good enough. Then, when my young son came back from visits with his father, he was telling me he had a new mommy now. Trauma response took over and I felt more depressed than I had ever felt in my life. In hindsight, this was a culmination of many years of pain, feelings, and trauma that I had not dealt with. Although I was dealing with the divorce and my daughter’s leaving, everything prior was rushing in. The trauma made me believe that my daughter left because she didn’t think I was a good mom, and that my young son now felt the same. Therefore, I internalized it very deeply. Moreover, I mistakenly thought that giving up my son was best for “him”.

And I did. I gave up my precious boy to his father, the one who was unfaithful to me, the one who mistreated my other children. I did this because, at the time, I didn’t feel good enough. I didn’t feel good about myself. I have had to watch him grow up through photos. I have tried to come back into his life from pretty immediately after and throughout his life at different stages, but to no avail. His father refused me access at every turn, as my heart continued to break. At some point, I decided to wait until he turned eighteen due to promises being broken by his father and my fear of not being able to handle the heartbreak one more time. But this is my biggest regret in life.

Running Into Me

After the decision to give up my son, I fell into a deeper state of depression for awhile and this is where I had my second attempt on my life. In that moment, all I wanted to do was run away. To another state, away from my life, away from all that was familiar. All that was familiar, was chaos, mind you. A funny thing happened when I ran away. It quieted the noise for the first time in my life. And for the first time ever, the focus became me. I had to face her, get to know her. I had to stop using all of noise to hide. And in that process, I started to emerge. I started to understand what I went through and I started to put labels on it. When I quieted the noise, I ran into me.

I was able to put time and energy into developing myself and depending on myself. It is hard to face yourself in a moment like this, but it is cathartic at the same time. I needed this time. I just didn’t know it. During the process of quiet, I became a better mom, a better friend. I became more aware of the world around me and how I related to it. And it became more clear what I wanted in this life. It was a profound time or growth, an unveiling.

Unveiling my Creativity

I have always been a creative person, and my love of National Geographic sparked an interest in photography in my early thirties. Although I did not start out doing photography for women, it later made sense why I migrated in that direction. Creativity adds balance to my life. After various tries at different things, photography is the one that seemed to stick. The universe must have been speaking to my soul. For, it knew what I needed. Today, I stand in a unique space between two worlds. In one, I’m an emerging leader in my IT career, breaking barriers in a male-dominated field. In the other, I’m a boudoir photographer, helping women break free from their own mental prisons. These roles aren’t as different as they might seem. They are both about empowerment, about showing women their inherent strength and beauty.

Ready for the Unveiling of She

Today, I am a healthy, vibrant, and successful married woman, living in Savannah, GA with husband Win and our three cats. I do finally feel like my past has been reconciled with who I am today. I hold on to the strength and determination and the compassion and understanding that was built into that shy little girl who went through so much. I need those parts of her. These are things I can and do use to help others in their journeys. In quiet moments, I whisper to her that she is enough in hopes that if I whisper it to her, the me of today may believe it too.

Intentionally, I have let go of most of the negative and forgiven those who have hurt me. Most importantly, I have forgiven myself. I am now ready for my unveiling. I continue into my life hopeful for little surprises that might come my way and add more sparkle to my life. But I also accept that I may not get everything that I want. And I am okay with that. My heart is happy and continues to break simultaneously. And isn’t that just life?

Learn more about me and the photography I do here

Welcome to the Unveiling of She, Savannah

This blog, “The Unveiling of She, Savannah,” is born from every chapter of my story. It’s for the woman who feels invisible, the mother fighting against odds, the woman who has had significant loss and regret, the professional pushing through barriers, and every woman who’s ever doubted her own light. Here, we’ll share stories of transformation, offer guidance for self-discovery, and celebrate the beauty of every woman’s journey.

As we launch our “40 Over 40” campaign for 2025 here in Savannah, GA, I’m reminded that age isn’t just about numbers – it’s about experiences, wisdom, and the courage to keep unveiling new layers of ourselves. Each woman who steps in front of my camera brings her own story of survival, triumph, and transformation.

Your story matters. Whether you’re 17 or 70, whether you’re starting over or standing in your power, there’s a place for you here. Join us as we explore, celebrate, and unveil the magnificent truth of who we are as women.

In the coming weeks, I’ll be sharing more about our “40 Over 40” campaign and how you can be part of this transformative journey. Because every woman deserves to see herself through a lens of love, power, and celebration

Welcome to The Unveiling of She, Savannah.